if you were really my friend you woulden’t care about how much you saw me, and who i hang out with most. if you were my friend you would be there no matter what because i have for you. no matter i have always picked up my phone when you needed me. aren’t you suppose to be happy for your friends when there happy.. i’ve never been this happy, well its been a long time and somehow im still doing something wrong. i’m wrong to you because im finally worrying about myself and not everyone else. i have finally got what i wanted, and what i have needed all along and some how im still wrong for finally being right to myself. i get your side, but have you ever thought? all your doing is pushing me away. talking bad about the one person who truly cares about me, and having the nerve to say all these bad things about him. YOU DON’T KNOW HIM, never EVER met him, NEVER talked to him either. you have NO right to talk bad about him because all he has done is help me.. blaming him.. for him “controlling my life” IM SORRY.. this is my choice, and i shoulden’t have to give you a reason for who i hang out with. if you claim he controls my life, what are you trying to do? explain.. you claim your “worried about me” worried about what.. he’s not an angry person, he doesnt hit me EVER, and he doesnt disrespect me, he doesnt control me. we have had out problems but those are our problems. you claim your worried because once he’s gone.. i will have no one. then so be it i will have no one.. why do i care because you don’t. if you were so god damn worried why would you leave so i have no one. thats sick because you obviously want me to be alone. i don’t push any one away, im still there for you.. im just avoiding pointless drama, and bad situations by hanging out with people who obviously don’t care. ill get over it, every one leaves right after they push the other person away so it’s easier to let the person go because they have been pushed away. in four years none of this will matter, and none of you will be there. i would rather have one person then a bunch of people who are going to walk away from me for such a dumb reason since you guys already did.. im sorry im worried about keeping the one person who truly does care about and i care about around. sorry he makes me happy, sorry hes there for me, sorry he’s my bestfriend.. sorry thats not you. oh wait im not sorry because what im doing makes me happy. when the tables are turned.. i forgot its different.

I know you don’t think we can carry it on. Think about all the good times we’ve had.

What’s the point .. Someone will always ruin it

I’m doing something wrong but I honestly don’t think I am. My emotions are losing all feeling lately. I’m just not happy. I don’t think anything will help me at this point. I hate waking up to a day I know I’m not going to enjoy, and think horrible thoughts all day. All I think about is everything you have said lately. All those words haunt me and one day I feel like the pain is going to come back and visit. I’m always thinking that.. Someone is going to ruin my happiness

Everything gets harder for me and continues too. I stay positive, I try my best not to think of the negative but it just doesn’t go away ever. I want to be able to let go of the bad thoughts I have towards you. I hate having negative thoughts towards you, I’ve never felt like this towards you, not even when we broke up and we were apart for awhile. I truly do care, I hate how you think I don’t. I just feel lost and helpless.. I thought i was the best for you.. But I feel as if I’m not any more. I’m me and I want you to love every part of me, and find me the best not any one else. I don’t want to be second best ..